Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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