shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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