i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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