I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize