it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
