You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
