We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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