I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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