yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it's great music for shaving your balls
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
