I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
