White coat. Heels.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
