he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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