last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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