the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
