I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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