You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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