Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize