I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
