Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
