can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
