how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
