don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I need moral support for this bender
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
