I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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