idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
