I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
