A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Randomize