don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
