He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Still dying that you shit outside
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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