Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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