guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We had to coat check the pizza.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
