Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
