if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
