All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize