I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
