guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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