sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Panties = found
Randomize
