went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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