I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize