Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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