You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
