Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
