In America we eat man semen.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
