does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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