i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up under a house in Key West
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
