3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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