Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
