What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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