I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
