i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
