suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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