And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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