The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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