Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
