So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
