And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
