Someone shit on the floor
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
