I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
