just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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