Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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