i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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