I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
