I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
