There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize