somebody snuck up and got me drunk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
