North Korea, Best Korea!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I FOUND THE LEGS
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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