the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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