Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
